Of Lilies and Remains
by Innana
Summary: Will Severus find peace? Not if Lily has anything to do with it. But maybe he isn't actually dead yet! Sort of Harry and Hermione mentors Snape story.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 _Perhaps in death, Severus can find peace at last – not if Lily and Dumbledore have anything to do with it. Sort of Harry and Hermione mentors Snape_

 **Disclaimer: All characters belong to the talented JK Rowling and I am not making a penny from this story**

September 1998

The Ministry had said it could never happen – that he-who-should-not-be-named, could not return.

As the Hogwarts students marched in formation without uttering a word, into the courtyard, the only sound was the echo of their footsteps on the grey flagstones. Wide eyes darted nervously from side to side - ever fearful in case they attracted the attention of the terrible Dementors. Even the Slytherins; many of their parents Death Eaters themselves, looked solemn. Their beloved school where they had skipped laughing through the corridors, marveled at the charms and spells they learned within the great walls, forged friendships and discovered secrets was now a symbol of fear and oppression. The dark clouds that rolled in overhead, heralded something far more ominous than just the threat of thunder.

High above the courtyard, a lone figure perched on the edge of one of the school's many towers. The newly appointed headmaster, Severus Snape. His dark onyx eyes were glazed as he gazed over the procession, his expression unfathomable. Even though his troubled mind was a seething cauldron of emotions, the master of Occlumens kept his thoughts shrouded from the Dark Lord and his followers. This was, he knew, going to be the most difficult year. The dark wizard, Voldemort, had taken control of Hogwarts and the Ministry. He cast a glance into the iron sky. The former guards of Azkaban, the Dementors - had changed allegiance recently and now the wraith-like creatures hovered in the sky above Hogwarts. They reminded Severus of the muggle refuse sacks, blowing in a gale but gathering the souls of the damned rather than rubbish. Their presence brought fear and misery to the wretched children who remained at the school. The school roll was somewhat diminished this year as any of the students were absent – either by their parent's choice or by compulsory order of the Ministry of Magic because they were muggle born.

Severus never expected to survive the 2nd World Wizarding War - neither did he particularly harbor any desire to. After all, this hell he had been living in since the night the best friend he had ever had died held little attraction for him. Lily Evans had been his best friend and the only girl he had ever loved - even though, in the end, she had chosen another. The only pleasure he derived now, was by taking points and doling out detentions to the unfortunate dunderheads (as he considered them) that he had to teach, and watching Slytherin win the house cup – a victory that had waned since the boy who lived to be a thorn in his backside had come to Hogwarts. Every evening, once safely inside his warded private quarters in the dungeons of the great castle, Severus drained the contents of his fire whiskey glass. The amber liquor was potent enough to dull his senses at least temporarily, providing reprieve from the dark thoughts that haunted him almost every minute of the day. At least that had been the case until he had been appointed Head teacher of Hogwarts. Severus neither applied for nor wanted the position. He knew that this appointment signaled the beginning of dark times for the wizarding world. The Death of Dumbledore had marked the beginning of a very dark time at Hogwarts. Now the future of the entire wizarding world was in jeopardy from the pure-blood loving homicidal maniac and his loyal Death-Eater followers.

Switching his gaze back to the students, Severus let out the breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding and silently vowed to do whatever he could to protect the students from the attentions of the sadistic Carrow Twins, maintaining his cover as a Death Eater in order to continue in the unenviable position as the late Headmaster's spy. He would protect the students and somehow find a way to inform Harry Potter what the great wizard had confided in him, before his death – that to defeat Voldemort, Harry himself must die at the dark wizard's hand.

They said it could never happen. The Dark Lord could not return. After the Tri-wizard tournament, they had mocked Harry Potter and ridiculed the boy who lived. They said it could never happen…but it had.

Voldemort had returned and was in control of Hogwarts.

 **Reviews give me motivation to continue :-)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

His eyelids flickered as his mind drifted back to consciousness. His eyes flew open and he blinked, his brows furrowed as he peered in confusion at his surroundings. He wondered what he was doing lying on the floor in the dungeon corridor, having not resided there since his appointment as Head Master. With a grimace, Severus picked himself up off the cold stone floor, gathering his robes around him to keep out the chill. He wondered why it was so dimly lit. he could scarcely see through the gloom.

His thoughts were hazy, he couldn't remember ever coming down here. Had he imbibed that much fire whiskey last night? Why would he get drunk and end up in the dungeon? It wasn't like he and Slughorn were friends. He laughed bitterly. _Friends._ The only members of staff who didn't hate his guts and consider him a traitor were the Carrows – and the sadistic siblings weren't exactly his first choice of drinking partner. Had he been abducted in his sleep? Was this some trick of the Dark Lord? These and other thoughts swam round in his mind. There was something else – fragments of a dream – no! More like a nightmare, hovered on the periphery of his mind.

He glanced around the corridor, but it was empty. His eyes darted from side to side as he crept down the dark hallway. His hand strayed to his wand pocket as he did so. He reached the entrance to the stairwell only to discover that it was guarded by a black, wrought iron gate. He cast a silent alohamora. Nothing happened, he tried again, louder this time, hissing in frustration as his efforts were in vain. He cast several non-verbal charms – to no avail. Finally, he resorted to reaching out and grabbing the bars, rattling the gate as he did so.

"I'm sorry Severus that way isn't open to you – not yet, anyway."

The Head Teacher's dark eyes grew wide as he recognised the voice. He whirled around in one fluid movement and stared in shock at his former mentor.

"Albus! But you're…dead, I killed you." He turned a full circle, eyeing his surroundings. "What's going on?"

The old man closed the distance between them and his blue eyes met Severus' confused gaze. "You don't remember what happened?"

"No! I…" A brief flash of memory as disjointed images flowed through his mind – red eyes boring into his, a hiss followed by terrible pain, then emerald green – Lily's eyes, no, not her – Harry Potter. Harry Potter was here in the castle. "Not really." His eyes narrowed in confusion then realisation hit him like the Hogwarts Express and gasped in shock. "Does this mean…? Am I to assume that I died Albus?"

"Lumos," The older wizard spelled softly. Instantly the corridor was filled with the soft glow of candlelight. "Ah, that's better." The old man placed his hand on Severus' arm. His eyes filled with sympathy as he gazed at the younger man. "I had not foreseen this happening Severus…"

The younger man pocketed his wand. "Oh! Save your pity for the Chosen One, Albus!" He snapped. "I did what I could to protect him, but in the end, I failed." He sighed, throwing his palms open in frustration as he shrugged. I could not fulfill your final request that I tell him he must die in order to destroy the Dark Lord."

"But you did just that, Severus. As you lay dying, Harry Potter found you and you gave him your memories. He took them to my pensieve. Everything has come to pass, exactly how the prophecy foretold."

"What? Then…" The younger man's jaw became slack as he considered the implications. "The boy is dead?"

"No, no, Severus. Harry Potter is very much alive, I assure you – thanks to you, I might add. Voldemort has been defeated. There were many casualties…"

Severus gasped as everything came flooding back to him in a flash.

 _He had known that his life was forfeit the moment that Dumbledore had insisted he resume his role as a Death Eater. In quiet acquiescence, Severus Snape had taken up his place at the Dark Lord's side. His skills in Occlumency had been enough to maintain his subterfuge, shielding his inner thoughts and activities as a spy for Dumblefore and the Order of the Phoenix. Severus had maintained the dual role right up until Dumbledore's death – for which he was responsible. Severus had been the only person alive who knew the truth – that the old man had been dying as the result of a cursed ring and he had ordered Severus to kill him, not only to spare him from an agonising and prolonged death, but also to save Draco Malfoy from losing his soul by carrying out the Dark Lord's request to murder the Hogwarts Head teacher._

 _Severus had been only too aware that each time the dark mark on his forearm had burned, summoning the Death Eaters to Voldemort's side, could have heralded his death. He did not fear his mortality – only that he would fail in his quest – to protect the Boy-Who-Lived; Harry Potter. Much as he despised the young Gryffindor, he would not renege on the promise he made to Harry's mother Lily, that he would protect her son._

 _Every time, he had apparated to Voldemort's lair at Malfoy Manor, Severus had to quell the rising nausea he felt in the presence of the monster who had killed his best friend and the only girl he had ever loved. He had tried not to recoil in horror as the pureblood loving maniacs gleefully shared macabre tales of muggle torture and genocide. He had wanted nothing more than to hex the Dark wizard into oblivion – along with his inner circle of homicidal followers like the deranged Bellatrix._

 _No, Severus did not fear death. He knew that when his end came, the cursed existence he had endured for the last sixteen years would finally be over. Sixteen years filled with self-loathing and regrets – his only enjoyment, the sadistic pleasure he had derived from taking points from the Gryffindors and that, half the time, was part of the pretence. His own Slytherins, on the other hand – many of them children of the Death Eaters he so despised, he had bestowed with favour, hardly ever reprimanding them in front of the other houses, and never took points. The other Heads of Houses already treated the Slytherins unfairly, deducting more points than for Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. The arrival of Harry Potter and his two chums who made up the other two thirds of the 'Golden Trio' had only increased his ire. The old coot, Dumbledore had made no secret of his favoritism for the trio – especially the dark haired spawn of James Potter; Severus Sworn enemy at school. But at times, Severus had to remind himself that Harry was also part of Lily too – and that is why for the last six years, Severus had, despite his loathing for the foolhardy Gryffindor, saved Harry's life countless times and endured the crippling pain of the cruciatus curse and the burning sensation of the Dark Mark that made him want to claw at his own flesh in desperation._

" _My Lord..." As the words left his lips, Severus tried to quell the uneasy feeling that was rising in his gut as Voldemort circled him like a cat toying with its prey. It was hard to believe the terrifying snake-like visage towering above him had ever been the handsome, charismatic man that was Tom Riddle. Beside the Dark Lord, lay coiled his monstrous serpent familiar Nagini._

" _You have been a loyal and faithful servant, Severus, but only one of us can live forever."_

 _Severus' eyes grew wide as he waited for the words that would end his miserable existence. 'Adava Kadavra!' but they never came, a far more terrible fate was to befall the former potions professor and head teacher as the Dark wizard flicked his wand and Severus' legs were swept from under him. He felt a sharp sting in his throat, followed by a warm, wet sensation trickling down the outside of his collar. He barely had time to register that this was his own blood._

" _Nagini, Kill!" Seconds after the order was given, the giant snake launched itself through the air. Needle sharp fangs punctured his flesh, not once but several times. Blood ran in rivulets down his neck, soaking into the starched white collar of his shirt. He was hit by excruciating spasms as Liquid fire coursed through his veins as Nagini's venom was injected into his blood._

 _He barely heard the uttered words, "I regret…" as Voldemort swept from the boat house, taking the monstrous serpent with him._

 _Severus sat propped against the filthy window of the boat house, as he gasped for breath. He could feel the venom flooding throughout his body. He knew it wouldn't be long now till the darkness claimed him. He was aware of the sound of footsteps approaching him. He finally glanced up and his dark eyes met the green ones of Harry Potter. He was shocked to see the sadness and sympathy held in their depths. The boy crouched beside him, he placed a hand over Snape's wounds, trying in vain to stem the bleeding._

 _For the first time, Severus looked at the boy and saw Harry – not James or Lily. How could I have been so wrong?_

 _At least he could do one last thing. He wept, pouring his memories into the tears "Take them!" he implored._

 _Harry gazed at the dying man in confusion._

" _Take them to the pensieve."_

 _Finally understanding, Harry turned to his friends, requesting a flask. Hermione, always prepared for any eventuality, handed him a small vial. He gently held the vial to his former teacher's ashen face and collected the tears._

" _Look at me." His voice was now devoid of the usual bitterness and sarcasm. Harry granted the dying man this last request. His green eyes met black. Severus features softened as he murmured. "You have your mother's eyes."_

 _Severus wasn't seeing Harry Potter that instant, but another pair of emerald eyes – ones that he had not seen in 16 years, now gazed back at him. He felt a huge weight shift off him, he could finally be at peace. Already the darkness was hovering around his peripheral vision. He succumbed to it gratefully._

.

Severus closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "Then, if I'm dead, I obviously didn't make it to heaven, and I doubt the great Albus Dumbledore would end up in hell, so what is this place?"

"It is, I suppose, somewhere between. A waiting area, if you wish."

Severus nodded. "Lily! She's not here." Severus murmured, sadly. "I always fancied that when my time came, I would see her again."

The old man drew his hands together in a steeple in front of his chest and looked thoughtful. "Did you Severus? After everything. The way you treated Harry Potter?"

"The way I treated…I kept the boy alive, I saved his life," he hissed. "I risked my life for him for the last three years, every-time I was in that damned man's presence!"

"I'm well aware of the sacrifices you made for Harry, Severus, but tell me…do you think you were fair on the boy?"

"I didn't molly coddle him, like his relatives, hang on to his every word and idolise him, like all his adoring fans and…" He scowled as he watched the old man draw circles in the air with his wand. "What are you doing?" The dungeon dissolved as the scenery around them changed. His eyes darted between the new scene – that of a muggle street -and the old man. "What is this Albus?"

Dumbledore lowered his gaze to the floor and spoke quietly. "It was partly my fault, I suppose. I kept certain things from you. I could not afford for you to become emotionally involved."

There was little chance of that!"

"Yes, but, perhaps had you seen and understood how similar you both were, you would perhaps have not been so predisposed to cruelty in your teaching methods."

"I was your spy, Dumbledore."

"And a Master Occlumens Severus! You could have hidden your feelings. Anyway I suggest we watch."

It was early morning in November and the sky was still midnight blue overhead, though a pale hint of rose could be seen in the clouds on the horizon above the rooftops. Severus gazed at neat row of houses in Privet Drive and then turned his attention back to Albus. "And where, exactly are we?"

"Surrey."

"Surrey? But why on earth…"

The older man cut him off. "The question is not where, Severus, so much as _when_ _ **.**_ "

Severus sneered. "Very well, Albus. So are you going to offer some kind of explanation, or is this expedition into deepest muggle suburbia part of the regular activity in the afterlife, because if it is I think I would rather take my chance with Hades himself!

"Look closer – over there at number four." Albus nodded, indicating the house in question.

Severus followed the older man's gaze and his eye alighted on an object on the doorstep, growing wide as he recognised the small bundle as a human child.

"What…? Is this the night that Harry Potter was left in the care of his doting relations?" He said softly. He felt the force of the realisation of exactly what occurred on that date – what he had lost – and had been paying for ever since. "Why are you showing me this? You know what I lost that night."

"What about what Harry lost Severus? Did you ever stop thinking about your own self long enough to consider exactly what impact the loss of both his parents had on the child?"

"But he still grew up with his relatives, cared for and –"He never finished his sentence. The words died on his lips as the front door to number four Privet Drive opened and a long bony faced woman with thin lips and dark curly hair appeared on the doorstep.

"Petunia?" Severus turned to Albus in disbelief. "You left Lily's child with this woman?"

 **A/N: So – do you think Severus will have a change of heart about Harry now? What do you think will happen when Petunia finds he sister's child on the doorstep?**

 **The title is the name of a song by Bauhaus, from their album entitled Mask**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Both wizards grimaced as an ear splitting shriek shattered the early morning peace and quiet. _**"Vernon!"**_

A moustachioed, obese man lumbered over to the doorway, followed by a podgy toddler who had cereal plastered all over his face. "What on earth is the matter my sweet?"

"It's…it's…" All the horse faced woman could do was stammer and point at the bundle that lay on their doorstep. "I came out to get the milk and found _this."_

Vernon Dursley bent over, his brows knitted together as he peered into the bundle. "Bloody hell Petunia, we had better ring the police."

"There's a note." Petunia pulled out the piece of parchment that was tucked just inside the blanket and her eyes darted over the words. With trembling hands she stayed her husband's arm as he turned to go back inside. "No, it's my sister's child – she's dead, Vernon."

Severus folded his arms over his chest. It had been on his lips to make a scathing remark about how the family had just realised the precious gift they had been given that was the wonder of the wizarding world; Harry Potter, but he held his tongue as an unsettling thought drifted into his mind. _They are not supposed to react like this._

Petunia picked up the young child and hushed her husband and son quickly into the house and after a cursory glance up and down the street to see if anyone was around to witness the proceedings, slammed the door.

A few seconds later a man's voice exploded. "We are not taking that freak in Petunia!"

"But Vernon, it says here that we will be given protection from those evil monsters who killed Lily if we do and it says, a financial remuneration will be given to cover costs of bringing up the child."

Albus glanced at Severus. The younger wizard's face was a dark mask as he regarded the proceedings. "This reaction – was not what I expected," the younger man muttered.

Albus shook his head sadly. "No – I don't suppose it was Severus, my boy."

"Then why – those muggles – of all people?"

"It was the only way, Severus." Albus said softly. Instead of the usual twinkle, his blue-eyed gaze were now reflected with sadness.

The scene dissolved and was replaced by another. Both wizards found themselves inside the Dursley's house. Severus sneered in disdain at the generic, middle class soft furnishings. They could hear the anguished cries of a child crying. "Mama! Dada!" it appeared to be coming from the cupboard under the stairs.

Vernon Dursley banged a meaty fist on the cupboard door and hissed. "Be quiet you little freak! Do you want the whole street to hear you? If you don't be quiet you'll be off to the children's home!"

Severus and Albus exchanged horrified glances. "It was much worse than I thought," the older wizard said gravely.

Severus snarled in fury. "How dare they lock Lily's child in cupboard!"

The two wizards watched as the scenery changed to a slightly older Harry, being pinched by his pudgy cousin, then stared in disbelief as Harry was blamed for causing trouble and not playing nicely with Duddykins and thrown roughly into the cupboard under the stairs. In another scene, five year old Harry was standing on tiptoe on a stool, his arms deep in soap suds as he washed a pile of dirty dishes. Dudley spitefully kicked the stool from under him and Harry fell on the floor whilst the peevish boy sat down laughing at him. As the young Harry lay nursing a sore knee, Dudley's chair suddenly flew out from under him and he ended up on the floor on his backside. He wailed loudly and Petunia dashed into the kitchen.

"Oh my poor Dudums, what happened?" Dudley pointed, sobbing loudly to Harry, who was still sitting on the floor, wearing a shocked expression. The think woman grabbed Harry, pulling him roughly from the floor and dragged him towards the cupboard. "Just wait till your uncle hears about this, boy!" She shrieked. "You won't be able to sit down for a week."

Severus noticed that just like himself, the child was never referred to by his christian name. But he had been the teacher - these muggles were his relations. _**His** _ job had been to teach, guide and command respect. **_They_** were supposed to love him and care for him.

The scene faded and was replaced by another, in which Harry was standing in front of the stove, struggling to carry a frying pan full of sausages to the table where Petunia, Vernon and Dudley were sitting. Dudley started banging his knife and fork on the table impatiently. "Tell him to hurry up mum!"

The little boy that was Harry Potter served up sausages to his relatives then watched, wide eyed and hopeful that there would be some left for himself,, but the hope faded in his eyes as the last sausage was forked onto Dudley's plate. He took the empty pan with a sigh back to the cooker. As usual, he was allowed to eat one piece of toast whilst the rest of the family tucked into a cooked, English breakfast.

"They are treating him like a house elf!" Severus exclaimed.

"Treated, Severus." Albus corrected him. "This is in the past, remember."

"So am I to assume that things got any better for the boy at home?"

Albus simply raised his brows as another scene developed. Harry at school, being chased by Dudley. Harry hiding his report card so that he wouldn't get in trouble for doing better than his cousin. A visit from Vernon's sister – Severus recognised her from the memories in the pensieve and realised that the incident in which the dog was chasing Harry up a tree was not an isolated one. More and more scene's played out – Harry's birthday not being acknowledged, whilst his cousin was spoilt and overindulged. Harry receiving nothing for Christmas, then forced to cook dinner which his greedy cousin and uncle devoured, leaving him only scraps of food. Vernon threatening to not feed Harry, Harry locked in his cupboard. Harry doing accidental magic to get away from Dudley and his gang and ending up on the school roof – then being thrown in the cupboard by his hair and starved for two days afterwards.

Severus screwed his eyes up tight. "I've seen enough Albus." He said through clenched teeth. "Merlin, how could I have been so wrong?"

Then, the owls began to arrive. The first letter bearing the famous Hogwarts seal - addressed to Mr H Potter, the Cupboard Under the Stairs, was destroyed by Vernon Dursely. More owls arrived, bringing more letters. Every time, Harry was denied the chance to read them. Soon, the quiet suburban street was invaded by owls. Owls perched on every lampost, fence and hedge in the street, waiting faithfully for the reply. Then came the eventful Sunday morning when the peace at Number four Privet Drive, was shattered as, with a loud rumble, hundreds of letters came flying down the chimney. Severus and Albus watched as ten year old Harry, leapt up in excitement and grabbed one of the charmed letters. Once again, it was wrestled from him by his uncle. The scene changed and Severus and Albus now found themselves inside a draft, isolated, primitive cottage on a remote island. It was almost midnight and Harry drew a birthday cake with candles in the dust, whilst trying to get comfortable on his hard bed on the floor. Of course his spoiled cousin had claimed the sofa. Vernon and Petunia were upstairs in the only bed. With a boom, the giant, Hagrid knocked down the door and the moment Harry was told that he was a wizard, unfolded in front of two former Professors. They watched as Harry was taken to the Leaky Cauldren and with a shock, discovered that he was actually famous in the wizarding world. It was suddenly time for Harry to go to Hogwarts and Severus and Albus found themselves on Platform 9/¾. Harry met his first real friends that day – Ron and Hermione. Even though, he had found them annoying bloody Griffindors, Severus was surprised to discover that he felt relieved that the poor child had some companions at last. He raised one brow as he watched the scene where Harry refused to shake Draco's hand. _So that's what that was all about!_

Harry sat under the sorting hat. Severus stared wide eyed in shock as the hat told Harry Potter that he would do well in Slytherin. The realisation of what was to come next hit him and he turned to his companion.

"Albus! He growled, "I do not want to see this any longer, but their surroundings changed again. He watched in shame, as his younger self berated Harry for not paying attention in his first potions lesson.

"Can you see what he was writing Severus?" The grey haired old man said softly.

"It – he was making notes." The dark wizard hung his head. "He was only making notes, he _was_ paying attention and I jumped to conclusions that he was like his father." Severus watched as his younger self subjected Harry to humiliation in front of his peers. He observed how harsh and unfair his treatment had been and he was horrified. "I've become a bully, just like my father," he murmured. He held his head in his hands, obscuring his features, then combed his hands through his hair, grasping several strands at the roots in anguish. He felt quite sick at the thought of how cruel he had been to the boy.

"Enough!" He snapped.

Albus waved his wand and the memories disappeared, leaving the two wizards in the afterlife impression of the Hogwarts dungeon. Severus screwed his eyes shut. His mind was reeling. "How could I have been so blinded by my resentment, Albus?" He turned to the older wizard, his face growing darker. **"** And You! **_You_ ** were the one who put him there, with those – those disgusting excuses for muggles!" He bellowed.

Albus placed his hand on the other man's shoulder. "Severus calm down."

Severus shrugged off the touch. "I will not calm down, Albus! I had at least hoped that when my time came, I should have peace at last, but no, it would appear that Death himself has had the last laugh as I am to be tormented by images of Harry bloody Potter being abused by his relatives and then a stark reminder that I was no bloody better, myself! Lead me to the River Styx and I'll pay the Ferryman to take me to Hades!"

"Always had a flair for the dramatics didn't you Snivellus."

Severus whirled around. The former potion's master's eyes grew in size when he heard the voice and recognised the speaker. "Merlin's beard, it appears that I am already there!"

"Sirius!" A female voice admonished. "I thought we'd discussed this."

Severus gasped and his jaw almost hit the floor. The venomous words he was intending to spit at his former adversary, Sirius Black, forgotten in an instance. "Lily!"


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – updated.**

Severus stood transfixed as his gaze alighted on the etheric beauty of his one-time best friend. Her green eyes sparkled like emeralds with unshed tears, her hair lit by the light of the wall sconces, shone like burnished copper.

"I'm…glad you understand now Severus," she said quietly. "Thank you for everything you did to protect Harry – even though it was through some debt you felt you owed me rather than because you cared about him."

Severus' lips moved but his voice died in his throat. "I-I…"

It was Sirius who spoke next, pointing an accusing finger at his old adversary. "it's a pity there was no-one to save him from you though, you – "

"Sirius, stop it!" Lily admonished. She approached Severus, almost appearing to glide across the flagstones. Her green eyes met his dark ones and the tear spilled onto her lovely face as she lifted her head to gaze up at him. Sirius muttered under his breath, glowering at Severus whilst Lily spoke. "I'm sorry Severus, that what James and Sirius did to you in school was so bad that you had to take it out on Harry."

He blinked, feeling shame rising up within him as his heart beat wildly in his chest _. Should he even feel his heart beat when he was dead_? The thought entered his mind fleetingly. "Lily, I'm…sorry!" He shook his head slowly. "I had no idea what his life was really like. I imagined him to be spoiled by his relatives…" His gaze drifted to Dumbledore who was stood to the left of him, a quiet observer. "I wasn't the one who put him with those awful people." He saw Lily bristle. "I know Petunia was your sister Lily, but he was with them for ten years before he came to the castle. You would think closer checks would have been made."

Another tear fell from Lily's beautiful eyes. "I knew Petunia could be spiteful – knew that brute she married would be a bad influence, but I never imagined that she would ever be so cruel. I had hoped," she closed her eyes tightly. When she opened them again, she looked at Severus with a steady gaze. "That when Harry came to Hogwarts, you would look after him, care for him and tell him all about me."

"I know Lily, I'm sorry," he reiterated.

"I hoped you could both be there for each other Sev." Her tone had softened as she spoke to him using the affectionate term she had for him all those years ago – before he had uttered that awful word, before he had lost her forever to that rotten Potter and then to Voldemort's killing curse.

Severus gaze drifted to the floor. It made his heart ache to see Lily so upset. He took a deep breath. _Why am I breathing?_ "I couldn't show him any kindness, I was teaching the children of Death Eaters. I had to be harsh in my treatment of him."

"You could have find a way, Severus." She murmured and turned away from him.

"You appeared to enjoy tormenting him." Snarled Sirius. This time Lily just turned her head and glanced at Severus, but didn't say a word.

"Perhaps if I may interrupt," said Albus, walking forward towards Lily. "it is understandable that emotions are running high at this moment, but if the blame is to lay at anyone's feet then it should, as Severus has pointed out, be mine. Lily, I am truly sorry, that Harry had to suffer at the hands of his relatives, and had there been any other way, I would have seen to it that he was well cared for, but it was the only place where we could ensure his safety from Voldemort. I knew that he would return one day. I kept the truth from Severus, just as I kept the truth from Harry about what he must be told to defeat Voldemort." He glanced over at Severus before continuing. "Severus may not have been a kind man, but he was – in the end – one of the most brave and loyal of any man I have ever come to know."

Severus nodded his thanks. He still felt rotten to the core. He knew that deep down, he could no longer justify his treatment of Harry Potter in his classroom. He had thought the Gryffindor boy, spoilt and arrogant – a miniature carbon copy of the man who had tormented him at school. A man that the boy had only known for the first year and a half of his life. He had made assumptions – wrongly about Harry's home life.

"I would say, that Harry grew up remarkably well adjusted, considering." Remus Lupin stepped out of the shadows and joined Lily and Sirius.

"Lupin – you as well?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "So I have a bloody Gryffindor welcome committee!" He turned to Albus. "Are you sure, I'm not in hell?"

"Probably better than a Slytherin one – considering…"

Severus mouth quirked in a smirk. "You may be right about that Lupin. I imagine if I had survived this war, there would be several people baying for my head on a pike – on both sides."

He walked over to Lily, his footsteps echoing on the flagstones. "I know this won't mean much to you, Lily, but in order for me to maintain my cover as a spy, to protect your son, I spent the final year of my life being despised by just about everyone. No-one will mourn my passing. They will most likely rejoice the death of their most hated professor. Harry will go on living. He will more than likely be given a hero's welcome, be worshipped wherever he goes and have a life of glory." He raised a hand to cut her off, when she opened her mouth to speak. "No, I do not envy him. I don't have any bitterness. I chose my path all those years ago and I've endured a lifetime of regret. I should have listened to you, when you advised – begged me to stay away from the Death Eaters in school. It's too late for me now, but Harry – he was stronger than I ever was. You should be proud of him Lily." His words were sincere and he felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "If I could live this life again, I would make different choices."

"We would all make different choices, Severus," said Remus softly. He cocked him head to one side. "Wouldn't we?" He said to Sirius. His friend simply grunted and nodded in response, then stood with his arms folded across his chest, gazing at the floor.

"I would like to think that we have all grown up and learned our lessons from the past," said Albus. "For most of us, it is too late to do anything about it, but for you…" he looked pointedly at Severus, who furrowed his brows in response.

"But…for…me?"

Albus waved his wand and an image developed in the air in front of them. Severus looked down with detached interest as Harry, joined by Minerva McGonagal and Hagrid rushed into the room where his blood soaked body lay propped against the window. He watched as Minerva's hands flew to her lips. "Oh Severus, you poor man."

He smirked. "Well she wasn't saying that to me, last time I saw her, so I can only presume that Mr Potter has…revealed what I showed him in my memories." Albus gave no reply, but moved to stand close to Severus and patted his shoulder.

"Good heavens, he's alive."

Severus eyebrows shot up as far as they could go. "What! How in Merlin's name, what does she mean, I'm still alive? How can I be alive when I'm clearly here with you…" his voice trailed off as he saw the intense gaze that the old man was giving him and the furtive glances between his former classmates. "No!" He shook his head furiously and waggled his finger. "I am not going back!"

"Please Severus?" It was Lily, her green eyes wide and pleading. "Harry has no-one now."

"He has his friends and the entire wizarding community!"

"But with Albus, Sirius and myself, he has no mentor," Remus said, giving a sad smile.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I am hardly mentor material! God knows, I'm the last person, he would take any notice of."

"Really?" Albus' eyes twinkled in the torch light. "Look!"

In the hazy image, a distraught teenage boy was begging his companions. We have to save him!" Harry was almost hysterical. "We can't let him die, not after everything he's done for us." The half giant leaned down and picked up the body of the former Head Master.

"We'll do all we can for him Harry," Minerva said, placing her hand on the boy's arm to comfort him. "But he has lost a lot of blood. He's unconscious."

"I never even checked his breathing. I assumed he was dead – and then Voldemort started speaking, in a really loud voice." Harry's voice faltered.

"It's not your fault Harry, you had so much to deal with – more than any boy your age ever should"

Harry gazed up at her with his huge green eyes – Lily's eyes. "I don't want anyone else to die because of me."

SSSSS

"Please Severus, if you truly cared about Lily." There was no longer any malice in Sirius' voice as he addressed the dark wizard.

"We don't have much time," said Albus.

For the first time, Severus hesitated. Could he go back? What type of life would he have? He screwed his eyes shut. Even in death, it seemed he couldn't get any peace.

When he his eyelids flickered open again, he was assaulted by a bright light. He squinted and tried to raise an arm to shield his eyes, dismayed to discover that he was weak and his limbs felt heavy and could barely move. It took a few seconds for him to realise that he was lying in a bed in the hospital wing. He concentrated, felt the spark of energy as he tried to do wandless magic to shut out he light, but his magical core was damaged and the spark fizzled and died. The sun continued to beam through the tall windows in the Hogwarts infirmary, shining in his face. _Oh what fresh new hell is this!_

He turned his head and his gaze settled on the silver tabby cat watching him intently.

He blinked. "I didn't know they had employed cats in the medical wing. Or have you come to scratch out my eyes Minerva?" Perhaps it had all been a dream – or a hallucination.

The cat disappeared and in its place was his former colleague. "I bloody ought to scratch you, you silly man. Why on earth couldn't you trust me? Why didn't you tell me that you were still on our side, I could have killed you that night!" Her usual Scottish lilt was full of anguish as her eyes bore into his.

"I hardly think so." He mumbled, his voice gravelly and weak.

"We won, Severus. Harry Potter defeated he-who-must – Voldemort. "

He winced at the name _, old habits die hard._ He closed his eyes and let out a long slow breath of relief. "I…"

Poppy rushed through the door. "Severus – oh thank Merlin, you are awake. I thought we had lost you." He lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes. _Great now he had two women fussing over him like a mother hen with her chicks._ He felt a bottle being pressed against his lips. "Drink this Severus." He grimaced at the bitter iron taste of the blood replenishing potion.

Minerva and Poppy exchanged a look. "Listen Severus…"

"When are they coming to take me to Azkaban?"

Minerva shook her head. "They're not but…"

"What is it?"

"Only a few people know that you survived. Harry is trying to clear your name using your memories but – the ward is under a disillusionment charm. No-one apart from a couple of staff members, Harry and the Weasleys know you are alive!"

He gave a weak nod in understanding and turned his head to face the other way. The image of Lily pleading with him was still fresh in his mind. Perhaps he deserved to be in Azkaban but – he could hardly be any use to the boy from there. He knew without a doubt that _she_ would be watching him. He closed his eyes and within minutes was asleep.

 _ **Yes I know – another Snape back from the dead story. I had this floating around in my head for weeks so I had to write it.**_

 _ **Please review, I intend to post a new chapter at least once a week**_


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Severus gazed out over the great hall from his place at the staff table. He was flanked on either side by Professors McGonagal and Flitwick. He noticed with interest that there did not appear to be any new faces amongst the staff and that several of the usual ones were missing – including Trelawney and Madam Hooch.

He raised his hand to silence the chatter from the students as he prepared to give the welcoming speech. All chattering ceased and he felt the eyes of every student watching him as left his seat and walked towards the podium.

"Murderer!" The word echoed across the hall.

His brows knitted together and his upper lip curled in anger as he glared at the students. His dark onyx gaze swept across the house tables. "Who…said…that?"

"Traitor!" This time, he knew it had come from the Slytherin table.

"Silence!" He bellowed.

"Murderer!" Several students on the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables began chanting the word, one after the other. The Slytherins started chanting, "Traitor!"

"How dare you!" He growled. "I'll have you all punished severely for this. There will be no privileges, no Quidditch, matches, no –"

He was interrupted as Harry Potter stood up with fury blazing in his jade green eyes. "You gave Voldemort the prophecy that killed my parents because you couldn't have my mum. You selfish bastard."

Severus glared at him. "Mr Potter, sit…down!"

The black haired teenager ignored him and carried on ranting at his most hated professor. "As if my beautiful mum would ever have been interested in a greasy, ugly git like you."

In two seconds, Severus was standing in front of the teen. His dark gaze met Harry's green one, in an icy stare that could have frozen the fires of hell. "I…am…warning you, Potter, if you insist on carrying on this tirade, you will not like…the…consequences!"

"You betrayed us all. You betrayed the Dark Lord and my parents!"

He whirled around. "Silence Mr Malfoy, or you will be joining Harry Potter in his punishment."

The blond haired teen snarled at his former House Master. "No!" He whipped out his wand and pointed it at Severus who responded in kind, only to find himself disarmed immediately. He spun in one fluid movement. His wand was now in the hand of Minerva McGonagal.

"You may not raise your wand at a student, Severus."

He opened his mouth to protest, when he heard a hissing from behind him. Harry was speaking in parseltongue as the other students began to back away. The dark mark on his forearm started to burn as the image became animated. He stared in horror at his limb, whilst the snake, slithered out from the skull and began to circle his wrist, before sinking its fangs into his flesh. His eyes grew wide in shock as he tried to grasp the writhing creature with his other hand.

He heard the words, "Avada Kadavra," muttered on Draco Malfoy's lips. There was a flash of bright green.

His eyes flew open. His bony fingers clutching the bed covers that were now damp with perspiration. His rapidly beating heart began to slow down as the nightmare began to ebb from his conscious nous.

"Oh!" He groaned, as he slowly began to regain his equilibrium. The sun had already gone down and the only light in the room, came from the dancing flame of a candle stub on his bedside table. He glanced at the candle and noticed a glass of water nearby, on the same table. He snaked out a trembling hand trying to reach it to quench his dry mouth. Madam Pomfrey, who had charmed the bed to alert her to any movement, came bustling in – carrying several small bottles that Severus recognised as blood replenishing, pepper-up and anti-venom potions. She uncorked the first one and held it to his lips. He made a mental note to ask for dreamless sleep to be added to the concoction as the bitter, metallic taste of the blood replenishing potion, slid down his throat. He glanced around the ward. All the other beds were empty, except for his own.

"Where are all the other casualties?"

"They have been taken to St Mungos. The school is officially closed to students. It was the best way to keep your presence a secret."

He raised his brows – incredulous that they would go to such lengths for him. He felt a rush of emotion he could not name and quickly clamped down on it. "How long…have I been here?" He croaked.

"It's been five days Severus. We thought we had lost you for a moment. You lost so much blood, it's a miracle that you survived. If it hadn't been for Harry..." She raised the second potion to his lips and he drank it. "He thought you were dead, he was astonished to find that you were still alive."

He turned his head sharply, an action that produced a stab of pain in his neck. He winced and raised a hand feebly to the wound and prodded at the wad of bandaging he discovered there. "Just how in Merlin's name, did I survive Poppy?"

She sighed as she picked up the third potion and held it up to him. This time, he tried to grab it with a trembling hand – which she lightly slapped away, and proceeded to feed the potion to him, much to his chagrin. "Well, it seems that young Mr Potter has latent healing abilities. It appears that when he placed his hands on you to stop the bleeding, he gave that healing to you. His mother was a natural healer, you know."

Severus blinked, then his eyes clouded over with a faraway look. "Yes, I remember when we were children, Lily was able to heal sick animals and make dying flowers bloom again. Obviously she has transferred this ability to her son."

"Luckily for you Severus _."_

 _Is it?_ He thought. _I'm lying in the infirmary, barely able to move, hidden away from the world, in case I end up in Azkaban_. He requested the glass of water and when she tried to hold it up for him, he insisted on trying to hold the receptacle himself. His hand trembled and the water lapped over the sides of the glass, splashing his face and chest. Poppy spelled the spill away and charmed the glass to hover over his lips instead of holding it in place. He was grateful for the small gesture.

She left the ward and a short while later, Severus felt an uncomfortable urge. He wrestled the sheets from his body, somewhat haphazardly and tried to manoeuvre himself off the bed. Immediately he felt like he had been hit by a hippogriff.

"Severus, what do you think you are doing?"

He growled at being admonished like one of the students. "Madam, I do not appreciate being spoken to like a first year and I have business of a rather personal matter to take care of." He grumbled.

She tutted at him. "I'll bring you a chamber pot."

He almost exploded. "I'm not using a bloody chamber pot. Now, levitate me if you must, but I am going to the bathroom like a civilised person!"

She shook her head. "Mr Snape, I assure you that being a healer in a school full of students, I am quite used to bodily fluids!"

He glared at her. "But…I…am…not…a…student!"

"Very well." She waved her wand and muttered something. Severus found himself feeling suddenly much more comfortable.

 _Why didn't she just do that in the first place!_

Harry walked through the door at the Burrow after spending the afternoon playing quidditch with Ron and Ginny. His cheeks were slightly flushed from the exertion and he was a little out of breath. Molly rushed over to him as he placed his broom by the door. It was the latest Firebolt – a gift from the manufacturer, as a token of appreciation - although, Harry suspected that it was a clever marketing ploy. He was still grateful for the gesture as he had no idea what had happened to his old broom after the voyage of the seven Harrys – when several members of the Order had used polyjuice potion to change their appearance to his, so they could act as decoys to fool the pursuing Death-Eaters.

"Harry dear," the Weasley matriarch took his arm gently and guided him over to the fireplace. "You had a flu call from Professor McGonagal. Professor Snape has woken up."


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

He blinked – twice, took a deep breath and then expelled the air from his lungs. He smiled at Molly. "That's great – I mean, I know we never got on, but then I had no idea of the sacrifice he made. – "

"Yeah – so great that the greasy git survived," Ron muttered, hovering by the door.

Harry glanced at his friend, suddenly feeling insensitive. "Ron, I'm…" But the red haired boy had dashed out of the door, slamming it behind him, leaving Hermione with her mouth open. Harry and Molly exchanged worried glances.

Hermione spoke first, "I'll go after him." She hurried after her boyfriend.

Molly gave Harry a weak smile. She was a strong woman and he knew how hard it had been for her since Fred's death and how much heartache she must be hiding. Ron hadn't really spoke about his brother's death either.

Hermione paused just outside the door. Ron was sitting with his back to the house throwing rocks at a gnome hat was edging its way back into the garden, The creature was hiding behind a shrub and the leaves rustled as the missile landed

"Ron?" Hermione padded over to him and placed her arm around his shoulder. She fixed him with a steady gaze. "Harry may be happy that Professor Snape didn't die, but that doesn't mean he isn't sad about Fred. It was just a shock for him to discover that he had been protecting him all this time.

Ron nodded miserably, but didn't reply. Hermione continued. "It doesn't mean that he wanted Fred to or that he isn't sorry."

"I know – but it doesn't seem fair. He was such a git to us. He was awful to Harry, absolutely awful."

Hermione sighed. "I know – but, probably Snape resented Harry because he reminded him of everything he had lost. It doesn't make it right, but from what Harry said, Snape has been carrying a torch for Harry's mum all this time and probably lost everything he loved when she died. On top of that he had to pretend to be loyal to the man who killed her. He must have been living with so much emotional pain, it must have been simply awful."

"Maybe," Ron replied, "but that doesn't give him the right to take it out of Harry."

"I know." She murmured.

The gnome had taken advantage whilst Ron had been distracted by his girlfriend and was creeping up the path. Ron picked up another pebble and lobbed it at the gnome's hat. It gave a yelp of indignation and scuttled behind a nearby shrub.

Ron dug around for another pebble until Hermione stilled his hand by catching it up in her smaller one. "Ron – I…can't imagine what it must feel like to lose a brother and I'm not going to pretend that I do, but its ok you know – to get angry, to cry."

At these words, tears pricked the corners of Ron's eyes. He turned his head, trying to will them away. Hermione pulled him into an embrace that he willingly accepted. Holding on to her like his life depended on it, he sobbed into her hair. Once bushy and unkempt, it was now tamed and silky.

"Shh!" she whispered. After a while they pulled apart slightly, but still holding on to each other. Ron gazed into her eyes.

"I'm scared that when you go to Australia, you will want to stay there and I'll lose you too."

She placed her hands firmly on his shoulders. "Listen to me Ron Weasley – _**that**_ will never happen. I need to find my parents and bring them back – or they may even choose to stay there, that is up to them. My home is here with you – and Harry and Ginny. In fact…" she paused and gazed deep into his eyes, "why don't you come with me?"

Back in the kitchen, Harry was now sitting at the table, a cup of tea lodged between his hands as he contemplated the news about Snape. His once hated professor was alive. Should he visit him? The man had done everything possible to ridicule him and punished him unfairly throughout his school years, but Harry recognised he had played his own part in this antagonism. Right from the very first potions lesson, Harry had had his mind set. He had even thought that Snape was after the Philosopher's stone until he had discovered that it was Quirrell, doing the bidding of what remained at that time of Vodlemort. Snape had actually saved Harry's life on the quidditch pitch – muttering counter curses against Harry's jinxed broom. Harry wished now, that he apologised to the Professor back then for mis-judging him. At least now he would get the chance. Did he actually want to see Snape? There was every possibility that the surly man would refuse to see him anyway but maybe he should try. His thoughts whirled round like a maelstrom. Right now, his focus should be on Ron – he knew Hermione would be able to comfort him – but Harry wondered if he should go after his friend as he knew only too well, how it felt to lose someone he loved – his heart still gave a painful lurch when he thought about the moment Sirius had fallen through the veil as he was hit by Bellatrix's killing curse.

His eyes alighted on Molly. She smiled at Harry as she sat next to him, with her head cocked to one side as thought she was studying him. Occasionally, her gaze would wonder to the door, then settle back on Harry. He thought she was amazing to be so concerned about him, when she was still grieving for her own son. "Harry dear, Ron will be OK, it's just a difficult time for him – for all of us."

He nodded twice. "I know – but I can understand how he feels. It's how I felt when Sirius..." His eyes glazed over as the memory flitted through his mind, then became brighter, sparkling like emeralds. "I can find the resurrection stone! Then Ron can see Fred and say goodbye properly, know that he's ok, speak to him."

Molly gazed at him for a moment, her eyes grew large and misty. "Oh Harry, it's a wonderful thought, but should one person have the power to command those who have departed?"

Harry gave a sad shrug. "I just thought it might help him, but yes you're right. We destroyed the Elder wand for that reason."

"And the resurrection stone?"

"I dropped it in the Forbidden Forest, right before I…" His voice trailed off. He was still unsure exactly what had transpired after he was struck down by Voldemort's killing curse. Had he actually died at that moment and then been sent back, or had the horcrux within him actually saved him from dying. He didn't know – nor did he think he would ever really find out.

They heard a creak. Ron – his eyes red and slightly puffy, and Hermione strolled in from the garden. They shuffled over to the table to join the others and sat down. Molly waved her wand and two cups floated over which she filled from the teapot.

Harry turned to his red haired friend. "Are you OK Ron?"

His friend nodded. "Yeah." The red-haired teen paused for a moment before continuing. "It's just strange to think of you actually being glad that Snape survived and…." The words were left unspoken, but Harry knew that his friend was thinking of Fred. The red haired young man took a deep breath and his eyes darted to Hermione, then to Harry and finally alighted on his mother. I've decided to go to Australia with Hermione. It's hardly safe for her to go on her own, after all."

Molly Weasley gasped. For a moment, she didn't speak, then she reached over and took her son's hand firmly in hers, fixing him with her gaze. "Oh Ron, I can't pretend I'm not concerned about you going all that way…" Her gaze drifted over to Hermione and she clasped the girl's hand as well. "Both of you," she continued. "But I-I suppose if you think this is the right thing to do." Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she gazed at her youngest son and the girl she had come to think of as one of her own. It's not easy to apparate that far without practice though."

It was Hermione who answered. "We are not going to apparate, Mrs Weasley. We are going by air – on a plane that is, not by broom," she quickly added.

"A plane?" Molly repeated.

"Who's going on a plane?" Said a female voice from the other side of the room.

Harry's head shot up as his former girlfriend, Ginny Weasley entered the kitchen. She had stayed in her room whilst the others had been out in the garden, but had observed them from the window. Things were still a little – awkward, between Harry and herself so she had been keeping her distance a little whenever he was around.

Molly waved her arm at her daughter, gesturing for her to sit down. The youngest Weasley did so, folding her arms in front of her on the table. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as her gaze locked on to her mother's. Molly flicked her wand and a mug appeared in front of her daughter.

"I am," Ron began, "with Hermione." Her eyes widened. "Oh, is that why you were so upset in the garden?" She unfolded one arm to pick up the mug that her mum had just filled with tea. There was a loud 'ping' and Molly waved her wand at the oven. The door popped open and a large fruit cake floated out and hovered over to the table. Molly waved a cooling charm on the cake, summoned five plates and then cut the same number of slices of cake and placed them onto the plates. The plates then arranged themselves so that each person had one.

Ron's eyes flickered briefly at Harry. "Um…no, I was just – you know, thinking about Fred," he said mumbled, reaching for the cake.

"Professor Snape's alive. He was in a coma but he's woken up." Harry blurted out.

Ginny's eyes grew wide for a second then she schooled her face into an impassive expression that Severus himself would have been proud of. "I'm glad you aren't going to apparate to Australia. You'd likely get splinched."

Ron grimaced. He had already experienced splinching whilst he had been fleeing from the Ministry last year. He nodded in agreement. He glanced at Hermione, swallowing his current mouthful of cake, fearful of a telling off if he spoke with his mouth full. "Yeah – I don't fancy that again."

"How are you going to pay for a plane ticket though?" Ginny enquired. Harry couldn't help noticing how delicately she nibbled on the cake in front of her, in stark contrast to her greedy brother who had eaten most of his already.

Ron flushed slightly. "I…er…" he shrugged shovelling the last bit of cake into his mouth.

"I'll lend him the money." Everyone turned to look at Harry."

"There's no need, "Hermione began, "I saved up a lot of money the year we were on the run. I should have enough for both of us."

"I don't mind, honest. What am I going to do with all that money?" Harry asked, shrugging his shoulders for emphasis.

"Well…if you are sure, Harry. Thank you – I'll pay you back promise."

"Of course I am."

"Oh good," said Ginny, a little too brightly. "Well that's settled then."

"Isn't it good news about Professor Snape," Molly said.

"Oh absolutely," Ginny replied with a smirk. "Now he can go to Azkaban, where he belongs."

"Ginny!"

"Mum, he may have been _on our side_ in the long run, but you don't know what it was like being at school the last year – he treated us like crap."

"Ginny Weasley – any more language like that –"

"Ginny, Neville told me that when he caught you all breaking into his office, he punished you by sending you out with Hagrid."

"Well maybe he did, but he still allowed those Carrows to torture children in the classroom."

"I don't think he had much choice – "

"There's always a choice Harry! She snapped. "I know you have found out that he loved your mum and everything but have you forgotten how awful he was to you all through school!"

"Of course not." Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. His cake sat half eaten on the plate as he suddenly lost his appetite. "There is one thing I haven't told you – my dad and Sirius used to bully him at school – for no reason other than the fact that he was friends with my mum!"

Ginny stared at him, mouth gaping open. "So he took this out on you!"

Harry shrugged. "I guess so, but it must have been hard for him seeing me every day when I reminded him of his tormentor. He still saved my life though."

"Then he needs to get over it, he can't hold you accountable for something your dad who you never even knew, did about twenty years ago!" Ginny retorted sharply.

Molly Weasley gazed sadly at her daughter. "I guess he was under a tremendous amount of stress dear. We shouldn't hold grudges against Severus. At least he proved he was always on our sides, even if you didn't like all of his methods."

Ginny sipped the contents of her mug as she mulled over her mother's comments. Of course she realised that she was being subjective in her evaluation of Severus Snape, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to forgive him for the hellish last school year. Neither was she entirely convinced that the former potions master hadn't taken some kind of perverse pleasure out of tormenting the children – especially Harry. She still cared about him – enough to be concerned that he was being too magnanimous regarding his dealings with Snape. She glanced up and for a moment, her warm brown eyes locked onto Harry's green ones, then she shifted her gaze to the mug in front of her, downed the rest of her tea and announced she was going to her room, before pushing away the plate in front of her and flouncing out of the door, leaving a few raised brows in her wake.

Molly patted Harry's arm. "She'll come round Harry, she just needs a bit of time."

Sad emerald eyes gazed back at her. "I think I should probably go back home." Harry said softly.

"Oh no you won't!" she exclaimed, making all the teens jump. Her eyes were burning like hot coals. "No, no, Harry, you are welcome to stay as long as you need."

"Yeah, Harry," Ron said, a tone of concern in his voice. "Sorry for going off on one earlier. We don't want you to leave, do we Hermione?"

"Of course not," she agreed. "Harry you can't stay on your own at Grimmauld Place."

"We – ell, OK, I'll stay until you go to Australia." Harry announced.

Molly sighed. "Well, you know you are welcome to stay even longer than that, if you need to," she said, as she pointed her wand and the mugs started floating over to the sink.

"Thanks," said Harry. He smiled at Molly, "I feel a little awkward though – with Ginny…"

"Well, maybe it will give you too the opportunity to sort things out," Hermione suggested.

Harry flushed a little, embarrassed at discussing his former relationship in front of Ginny's mother.

The Weasley matriarch, astutely noticing his discomfort, stood up and wandered over to the sink where she spelled the cups and plates to start dunking themselves in soapy water.

"Maybe," Harry muttered, glancing in the direction of the door.

There was a brief moment of silence then Ron piped up, "Are you going to see him? Snape I mean?"

Harry's brows knitted together as he considered the same question he had been contemplating himself, earlier. "I don't know – I mean, we never saw eye to eye in school and I don't even know if he would want to see me.

"Harry, he want to great lengths to ensure your survival."

"I know, Hermione, but that was because of my mum, not cos he cared about me. Maybe, he would prefer it if I didn't."

The teens spent the rest of the evening chatting, playing wizard chess and exploding snap, but the former potions and DADA teacher was never far from Harry's mind.

 _ **A/n: Don't worry, Harry and Severus will meet up soon, but not just yet**_

Severus


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who has followed or favourited this story. Sorry it has taken a while to update but sudden plans to go to university/politics have kind of taken over my life_

 **Chapter 6**

Severus woke the following morning, having had a peaceful night's sleep thanks to a vial of dreamless sleep. His first action on waking was to attempt to get out of bed. This resulted in alerting Madam Pomphrey who came bustling into the ward.

"Now Severus, what are you trying to do?" She said, placing her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to make him lie down again. "You have to rest while your magical core – and your body continues to heal itself."

He growled under his breath. "Madam, I have no desire to lay here like a bloody invalid!"

"Merlin, you are worse than a group of first years. Where do you need to go with such urgency? If it is of a personal nature, I can use the relieving spell again."

"Thank you that would be – appreciated," he muttered. The media-witch waved her wand and the pressure on his bladder disappeared. However, it did little to appease his frustration at being bed-bound. His expression was sour enough to turn milk off.

"Would you like some breakfast Severus?"

He considered the request. He didn't particularly feel hungry, but knew the importance of eating to regain both his own and magical strength. "As long as it isn't porridge – I can't abide the stuff!"

"Very well, what about an egg – and some toast?"

He nodded once, "Thank you. That would be acceptable."

Poppy summoned a house elf who appeared with a pop. The little creature listened eagerly to her instructions then dissaparated and re-apparated a few seconds later with another pop, carrying a tray that contained a boiled egg and 2 slices of toast cut into halves, diagonally. There was also a cup of coffee for which Severus was most happy to see.

"I is bringing sirs toasts and eggs, Miss," the elf informed Poppy.

"Thank you Dilly," Poppy said as she took hold of the tray and carried it over to the prone man. The elf disappeared with a pop.

It took Severus a while to eat his breakfast. His throat felt dry and scratchy and his stomach appeared to have shrunk to the size of a pea, but the coffee helped to wash the meal down. He left the edges of the toast on the plate – knowing full well that he would have berated any students who did the same. He discovered, to his pleasant surprise, that he seemed to have a little more energy and using the heel of his hands as leverage, he pushed himself up into a vague sitting position. He had just got himself arranged comfortably when Poppy re-entered the room and fed him several potions.

"What is this one?" He enquired, scowling at the red liquid he didn't recognise.

"It's the antidote to that particular snake's venom." She explained. "It was developed for Mr Weasley Senior, when he was bit two years ago and we managed to obtain the formula from St Mungo's."

She uncorked the vial and handed it to him. He took it from her and sniffed at the contents." Dittany, murtlap and yarrow, if I'm not mistaken. Plus something else – Alfalfa. Yes – excellent at blood clotting I believe."

When all the vials were empty, Poppy took them from him and announced. "You have a visitor, Severus."

He felt his pulse quicken. _Harry Potter?_ He didn't know if he could cope with a visit from the foolhardy Gryffindor so soon. He trained his eyes on the door with some trepidation but his soon discovered his fears to be unfounded as a familiar figure popped her head round the door.

"Oh, Minerva – it's you!"

She smirked, "Why Severus, just who were you expecting – the new Minister of Magic – which is Kingsley Shacklebolt now, in case you were interested." She announced with the soft Scottish lilt as she strolled into the room and took the seat by his bed.

"Not particularly," he retorted dryly, "unless I wished to know who was going to order my extradition to Azkaban."

She pursed her lips. "You appeared to be expecting someone else."

He breathed in deeply and exhaled. "Yes, I did wonder if I might receive a visit from Mr Potter."

His colleague's mouth quirked at the corner. "Well if you were Mr Potter, Severus, would you?"

He considered this carefully before answering. "Yes, I think I would take advantage of the teacher who made my life a misery, whilst he was at a distinct disadvantage and unable to do magic."

"Well that is where you and Mr Potter are very different, Severus. Harry would never think like that and if you had ever taken the time to get to know him, you would have realised this."

"And compromised my position as spy!" he hissed, then winced and closed his eyes as a sudden pain throbbed in his temple."

"Severus are you alright?" Minerva leaned over his bed, concern etched into the lines on her face.

He nodded, then opened his eyes, reaching out a hand. His long, thin fingers looked like a pale spider protruding from the pyjama sleeve. "Water."

She passed him the glass and whispered, "Aguamenti." He closed trembling fingers around the glass and sipped at the contents. Minerva silently added a stabilizing charm to stop the water from spilling over the side.

"Would you like to me to call Poppy? She can give you a pain relieving potion."

He shook his head. "I'll be…OK."

Minerva relived him of the glass, replacing it back on the bedside table and settled back into the chair. "Tell me Severus. Did you really despise the boy so much – or was it part of the subterfuge."

He turned his head and stared out of the window, unsure of the answer. He _had_ loathed the black haired child who reminded him so much of James Potter, and deep down no matter how much he had justified this to himself, a part of him had known that this was wrong. He had refused to acknowledge this, dampening down any guilt. Refusing to see how much the boy was, in fact, like Lily.

"Severus…?"

He sighed and rolled his head slightly on the pillow, so that his eyes met Minerva's. What she saw reflected in them surprised her. Instead of the usual sneer that accompanied any mention of her former house resident, Severus looked somewhat ashamed.

"I – always assumed that Mr Potter had grown up a pampered prince, spoilt and indulged by his relatives – I was wrong."

"And yet Severus, the one child who was like that, you allowed to get away with…" she stopped herself just short of saying the word, "Murder!"

Severus' eyes flickered down to the bedsheet. "I'm sorry Severus, I didn't mean…"

For a moment, there was an awkward silence. Then he slowly shifted his gaze from the bed to his friend. "What happened to Draco?"

"Oh don't worry, he survived. His parents actually turned their backs on Voldemort and they walked away before the end of the battle. They are currently under house arrest, I have been informed."

He raised an eyebrow. "Lucius turned his back on the Dark Lord?"

"Yes, apparently so. Although I was only made aware of this later as the rest of us were more concerned about the fact that they had just announced the death of Harry Potter. I guess you weren't the only one who was good at acting, Severus."

He smirked. "So Potter led the Dark Lord to believe he had perished?"

"Aye. Hagrid brought his 'body' back from the Forbidden Forest and for a moment, we thought all was lost then Neville Longbottom sliced the head of Voldemort's snake and Harry leaped up, back from the dead. I'm sure the moment will be recorded in history as truly spectacular. It's a shame you missed it Severus."

He smirked. "I shall no doubt read all about the heroic Gryffindors in every publication known to this world." The words were uttered with none of his usual malice. A sudden thought occurred to him. "Minerva, were you aware of the treatment Mr Potter received at the hands of his…relatives!" he spat the last word out, his lips curling into a sneer.

Minerva sighed, her eyes flickered to her hands before answering. "I was suspicious that all might not be well. I told Albus right from the very beginning that they were the worst kind of muggles, but he was adamant that Harry had to live with Lily's sister to keep the blood ward protection." She stared hard at her colleague. "What treatment, exactly did he receive, Severus?"

"He was repeatedly denied food and basic comfort. He was repeatedly subjected to mental and sometimes physical, abuse. He was never shown any kindness or…love." The last word seemed a little alien coming from his lips. "I should have realised. I knew Petunia as a child. She was spiteful and selfish. She was so jealous of Lily for her ability to do magic. She would call her a _freak._ "

"That poor boy. It is an amazing testimony to his character that he turned out so well adjusted. How did you find out all this Severus? You and Harry were hardly on terms for him to confide in you? Occlumency, I presume."

Severus gazed into the distance, his dark eyes glazed over. "Something like that."


End file.
